If I were to tell you there’s one rather simple, replicable behavior that could lead to remarkable success in whatever venture you pursued, how would you respond? Would you reply by asking if I’m also offering to sell you a piece of the Brooklyn Bridge? Well, indeed there is such a behavior, and if the title of this blog didn’t give it away, let me be straightforward:

Mastering the art of self-reflection will help you meet whatever goal you’ve set for yourself. A hundred times over.

Self-reflection? You might say, incredulously. You mean there’s an art to thinking about things? Then I’d clarify:

Self-reflection, simply defined, is the discipline of focusing your mental energy on your goals, and then, quite intentionally acting upon it.

As you hone your reflective habits, you increase your skills, and in a repetitively expanding and strengthening pattern, you develop both simultaneously. This pattern, first published in a collection of books I co-authored with Alisa Simeral and Bryan Goodwin, is called the Reflective Cycle, and it describes the repeated behaviors of thought that we all follow as we learn something, develop our skills, and progress towards expertise. The steps of this Reflective Cycle are rather predictable:

• Build awareness. What is your goal? What outcome do you desire? What is your current state of affairs?
• Act with intentionality. What do you need to learn? What next steps must you take? What are you going to do to move forward?
• Assess your impact. After taking that step, what changed? Have you improved? What’s different now?
• Adapt and adjust. What new questions have surfaced? What worked that you can repeat, and what didn’t work that you can discard?

This simple pattern is repeated, ad infinitum, until you hit mastery…at which point you realize there’s even more growth potential then you ever imagined, and you continue to push forward. Potential, as I’ve discussed before, is an asymptote: the closer you get to it, the greater your potential expands.

Mastering the art of self-reflection will help you meet whatever goal you’ve set for yourself. A hundred times over.

Pete Hall is the President/CEO of Strive Success Solutions. You can reach him via email at Pete@StriveSS.com.

The setting: Workplace parking lot, coffee shop, grocery store checkout line, family gathering, kids’ softball tournament…honestly, it happens everywhere.

You: “Hey, how’s it going?”

Someone else (honestly, just about everyone else): “Busy. You know, busy.”

Um, I don’t know. Help me.

What does that seemingly innocuous, glib response really mean, anyway?

I have a theory about our infatuation with the term “busy.” I think it’s meant to communicate up to three things very clearly and powerfully, and it’s something we do subconsciously. We use “busy” so off-handedly, so habitually, and so often that at this point, it’s become an involuntary response, non unlike laughing when being tickled or rolling our eyes upon hearing a dad-joke.

Anyway, here’s my theory. We use “busy” to share up to three big ideas with our companions:

1. My life is so high-speed, so packed with tasks and projects, that I’m being tugged in many directions and it’s hard to be present. It’s hard work being this busy, and because of that, I want you to feel sympathy for me. I want you to feel for my plight, as engulfed in the merciless onslaught of work as I am. Just say, “Whoa, that’s rough. Must be a challenge.” You bet it is, thanks for noticing!
2. I’m in such great demand that I must be very important. Notice that, will you? Unimportant people have time on their hands – by contrast, so many folks desire my presence, my efforts, my energy, and my skills that I am worthy of some adulation. Admire me. Tell me, “Wow, good for you! That’s great! Better than the alternative, right?” Cause darn right that’s right.
3. I’ve got so much going on that there’s no possible way I could return that phone call, answer your request, complete that project, visit my friends, check-in on a relative, prepare a home-cooked meal, dedicate myself to an exercise regimen, tidy up my house or work-space, or plan proactively for retirement. Seriously, my life has a stranglehold on me! Forgive me. Say, “Holy smokes that’s rough, of course you didn’t text me back!”

We use “busy” so off-handedly, so habitually, and so often that at this point, it’s become an involuntary response.

What I’ve found is we wear “busy” on our sleeves like a badge. It simultaneously requests empathy (1) and respect (2), while excusing our inattentiveness or lack of follow-through (3). What’s more perfect than that, in a work setting? If we can get people to side with us emotionally (1) and admire us as professionals (2) while believing outside forces cause all our transgressions (3), we’re set, right?

Except it’s not authentic. So let’s get real, shall we? I’ve tried to swear off the term “busy” in my response to greetings and queries just for that simple reason. Perhaps some of these options might help open us up and offer honesty and connection with others when we’re asked, “Hey, how’s it going?”

• I’m happy this morning. I played my favorite song on my way to work and it really cheered me up. You ever heard of Dropkick Murphys?
• I’m great, thank you. I’m so appreciative for this day and all that I can accomplish if I put my mind to it. What are your goals for the day?
• Honestly, I’m a little hungry. My protein shake didn’t really do it for me this morning, and I could use a Belgian waffle, you know?
• I’m striving for a solid balance between work, play, rest, and my other responsibilities, which is tough on workdays, haha! I’m looking forward to going on a nice walk during my lunch break, though, want to join me?
• I’m struggling a bit with some big decisions that are on my plate right now, actually. I could use a little grace and patience if I come across as snarky or distracted, cool?
• I’m feeling appreciated. Got a nice compliment on my quarterly report and on my shoes already today. I tell you, my bucket’s filling faster than I thought it would. How are you?
• I’m in the weeds today. I could use some help remembering why I’m doing what I’m doing. Got a few minutes to chat?
• Fill-in-the-blanks. Be honest. Be real. Just don’t say “busy.”

Pete Hall is the President/CEO of Strive Success Solutions. You can reach him via email at Pete@StriveSS.com.

Leadership, by definition, is a form of guidance, of influence. Depending on the context, the skills and abilities of those engaged in leadership varies – leading an expedition into the cavernous bat caves of Bukit Lawang requires a different set of attributes than leading a Board meeting or maneuvering a company through an ownership transition.

However, there are two particular skills that all successful leaders have in common, no matter what the situation, the group, the goal, or the conditions are.

First, all great leaders rally the troops toward a vision of a better, brighter, more desirable future. I refer to this as the William Wallace approach, popularized in the movie “Braveheart,” when our hero paced in front of his countrymen in Scotland and implored them to defy tyranny:

“They may take our lives, but they’ll never take our freedom!”

Coaches of sports teams have mastered this first skill, and for good reason: the goal is plain as day. Win the game, win the series, win the championship. Effective leaders in the real world, too, employ this tactic with tremendous regularity: in offices, schools, departments, corporations, organizations – especially when the vision of the ideal future merges with the mission (the higher calling, the purpose, Simon Sinek’s “why,” Bill George’s “true north”) – getting everyone to row towards the same destination is essential in success.

After all, how do we define success? Usually it’s a measure of our ability to attain a stated goal.

The second skill all successful leaders possess is the ability to connect with each member of the team individually and compel him or her to commit in earnest to that vision of the better future. For it’s only when each person is fully engaged, fully captivated, fully committed that the collective goal becomes reachable.

Legendary Duke men’s basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski weaves this masterfully into his operations:

“Each team I coach is different because each individual is different,” Coach K says in his book, Leading with the Heart. “Almost everything in leadership comes back to relationships. I like to have a close relationship with every member of our team.” 5 NCAA championships and 3 Olympic gold medals as a head coach? This approach works.

Think of these two leadership skills from the perspective of a team member who follows the leader. Aren’t there two big things you want to know?

1. What’s our goal? What are we aiming for? What’s the destination and why is it so great?
2. What’s in it for me? How can I best contribute? What connects me to this vision?

As leaders, consider both whenever you are launching an initiative, taking over a team, setting goals for the next fiscal quarter, identifying strategies for getting the most out of your team, and any other leadership endeavor that requires your very best.

Always strive to be a better you.

Pete Hall is the President/CEO of Strive Success Solutions. You can reach him via email at Pete@StriveSS.com.

The interesting this about potential is that it’s an asymptote. My high school geometry teacher, Mr. Jackson, first introduced the concept of an asymptote to me: It’s a line that you approach but never intersect. In this way of thinking, the closer you get to your potential, the more your potential expands. The result is the lack of an upper limit – there’s no ceiling, no boundary, only limitless growth and the opportunity for expansion.

What if your ultimate potential had no maximum value? Can you imagine the possibilities?

This philosophy can live in every aspect of our lives. Think about this: is there anything in your life that you’ve completely mastered? Anything that you could not possibly learn more about, perform better or more efficiently, or somehow improve? I didn’t think so.

What we’re left with is the quest for improvement, continuous growth, neverending progress. The pursuit of “er.” You know: better, stronger, faster, happier, healthier…that list is endless.

“Always strive to be a better you” is a mindset. When we’re conscious of our desire to improve, we intentionally think about how that improvement might occur, and we behave accordingly.

Let me pause for a second to ask you a couple of provocative questions: Do you have to see something in order to believe it? Does it have to happen in order for you to believe it can happen? Have you ever told yourself, “I’ll never be able to do that” simply because you haven’t done it before?

When those thoughts invade your head, go ahead and respond as the Dread Pirate Roberts said to Buttercup outside the fire swamp in The Princess Bride: “Nonsense. You’re just saying that because no one ever has.”

Case in point: Up until May 6, 1954, no one in history had ever run a mile in under four minutes. That threshold was considered physically impossible. For centuries, mile times had been recorded, performances analyzed, and a conclusion was drawn: despite exceptionally fit people running as fast as possible, the human body could never withstand the strain of running at that pace for an entire mile. We had assigned an artificial ceiling to our potential. 4:00? No way.

Enter Roger Bannister. He clocked a mile in under 4 minutes. Blew us away. Then it happened again. And again. And it’s happened so many times now, we don’t even keep track any more. Roger believed it could happen, then he went out and did it. He didn’t allow the limits to confine his performance.

What upper boundaries have you constructed for yourself? What goals have you set aside, because, “I could never do that,” or “That’s not possible for me,” or some such defeatist thinking? What goals do you truly have for yourself? What is something you’d like to improve upon? What “er” might you be pursuing?

Are you ready to open your mind to the limitlessness of your potential? Embrace your asymptote! Relish in the possibility that you’re capable of accomplishing more than you ever thought possible. Then take a step – because that simple action can put you one step closer to your goals.

That’s how you always strive to be a better you.

Pete Hall is the President/CEO of Strive Success Solutions. You can reach him via email at Pete@StriveSS.com.