“Do what you love, and you’ll never work a day in your life.”
-They

Yeah, that’s what They say, but you know better. That’s hogwash! Isn’t it?

I mean, we hear a lot these days about “quiet quitting” and “burnout” and the many reasons it’s hard to keep employees engaged, motivated, and productive. And if we listen to what They say, it’s not surprising that one of the most prevalent pieces of advice, both on social media sites and throughout the working world, is to help people discover what they’re passionate about, and to follow that passion.

If there’s truly a deep, personal connection between what we do (our vocation) and what we love (our passion)…cue the angelic voices, pan out to capture the entire rainbow, and bask in the rare glory of that moment. Without question, this is the ideal. It’s not 100% hogwash!

There is some truth to the fact that when we’re doing something we’re passionate about, we have a different sense of purpose, a revitalized commitment, a greater likelihood of hitting that “flow” condition where time stands still and we become absorbed in what we’re doing.

Ideal as it may be, it is precariously rare. And it’s unequivocally unreasonable to expect that anyone would be wildly and madly in love with every element of every moment related to their job and work responsibilities. Shoot, I love what I do, but I don’t love everything about it!

So, what happens when our work isn’t our passion? When our passion and vocation do not intersect, what’s next? How do we remain engaged, motivated, and productive, when some (or even most of) our work is, well, drudgery?

Almost without fail, my clients either a) experience some form of “I’m not enamored with my job” or b) supervise folks who experience some form of “I’m not enamored with my job.” This condition is everywhere, and no one is immune to it. Remember: Work is hard (it’s a four-letter-word for many people), routines can become tedious, the demands can overwhelm us, it is often challenging to see the big picture and/or remain grounded in our purpose at all times, and the people we work with (and work for) can complicate our relationship with the work itself.

Fortunately, there are many strategies we can employ if we’re looking to ramp up our emotional connections to our work.

When you’re not “enamored” with your job, it’s time to shift your focus. Control your thoughts about work, and watch the emotional connection take hold.

Here are four of the top strategies I suggest to my clients. You know what They also say: “Believe it and you’ll see it.” Almost without fail, these approaches help immensely:

1. Shift your focus. Can you focus on what you love? Often, when we start thinking we’re burning out, we focus on what’s exhausting, unpleasant, and unsustainable about our work. We think about what’s dousing our flame. What if we shifted our lens and really started paying attention to what’s good about it? After all, if you’re feeling like you’re burning out, that means at some point there was a fire a-blazing. So, what ignited your passion in the first place? What are some of the elements of your job that are still flickering? We know that we’ll get more of what we focus on, so why are you focusing on what’s wrong? Shift that focus on what’s right, what’s working, what you enjoy, and you just might get more of that!

2. Know thyself. Do you know what you truly love? Do you know what fills your bucket? Do you engage in the behaviors that help you feel invigorated and positive every day? If you don’t, why not? Can you reorient your schedule to ensure that your energy-infusing activities (tasks, people, projects, locations, duties) are part of your everyday routine? Here’s a simple fix: If you’re lifted by interacting with other people and you find yourself working in isolation, get up and deliver a message in person to a co-worker instead of emailing it. Pick up the phone and call your contacts and colleagues. Here’s another: If you enjoy solving complex problems, and you find yourself in a mind-numbing rut, repeating the same procedure over and over, hone your mental lens on all the possible ways you can do what you do more efficiently, faster, and using your available resources. Once you know what fills your bucket, make sure you’re doing those things every day.

3. Look beyond the work. Can you love what your work produces? That’s right, if the work is excruciatingly difficult, tiresome, unpleasant (etc.), think about what doors the work opens, or what sits on the other side of it. The end might justify the means, in this case. All those hours hanging and mudding drywall in one new apartment after another could become monotonous and tedious. However, when this project is over, you’ll be able to look at the amazing, smooth, beautiful, finished product. If you can envision that beforehand, and if you can feel the pride and joy in that impending accomplishment, it makes each drywall screw and each swipe of the blade more palatable. (In dire straits, remember there’s a paycheck lying in wait, allowing you to put food on the table, a roof over your family’s heads, a vacation on the calendar, or whatever else that income does for you.

4. Find a higher path. Can you love the impact of your work? There’s a Mother Teresa quote I just can’t get enough of: “Wash the plate not because it is dirty, nor because you were told to wash it, but because you love the person who will use it next.” Oy. If that doesn’t ring your righteous, noble bell, I don’t know what will. No matter what we’re doing, there’s a recipient of our hard work sitting on the other side of it. When we consider our neighbor’s journey, and when we intentionally think about how our work can positively impact someone else, this promotes physiological changes in our brains linked with happiness. As we know, happy workers are productive workers, meaning not only will we whistle more while we work, we’ll also be more likely to repeat the behaviors that led to the happiness in the first place: working for someone else, the greater good, or a nobler cause.

If you’re feeling stuck at work, try one of these strategies. Shift your mindset and see if that new perspective brings you renewed joy, a boost of energy, and an additional flicker of passion. After all, if you enjoy your work, you’re more likely to be optimistic, motivated, learn faster, make fewer mistakes, and be someone that your boss, your co-workers, and you yourself will enjoy being around.

Pete Hall is the President/CEO of Strive Success Solutions. You can reach him via email at Pete@StriveSS.com.

How many times in your career have you, as an employee, attended a company-mandated professional development session and, at some point during the day, muttered, “Gosh, this really doesn’t pertain to me or meet my needs right now,” or something similar? Then you stealthily scroll through your phone and attend to other business while a presenter drones on and on.

Or how many times in your career have you, as a leader, organized a company-mandated professional development session that you thought would meet the needs of your team members universally, only to have it generate lackluster engagement and dispirited feedback? Why, even your best employees are trying to be stealthy about scrolling through their phones while your expert guest presenter shares important information!

If your answer to either (or both) question(s) is more than zero, read on. There’s a solution.

It’s called an Unconference, and it’s a savvy approach to growing employees while letting them – the employees – be in charge of the topics, the discussions, the strategies, and the next-steps…without needing an extensive pre-planned agenda, expensive expert presenters, or even the sniff of a PowerPoint (otherwise, it’s missing all the hallmarks of a conference).

How does an Unconference work?

In a nutshell, an Unconference involves convening the team with the express intent to learn, grow, and collaborate. It could be a stand-alone event, such as an entire staff meeting, or an Unconference could occupy the last hour of a full day of professional development, allowing participants to finish on a high note. Function determines format, right? So the length of the session would be determined by your goals as a team.

As you can read in the attached protocol document, “the goal of an Unconference is to empower participants to suggest items of concern/interest to them, then discuss and brainstorm solutions/strategies together. An Unconference prioritizes conversation and collaboration over presentation. The beauty of an Unconference is that there are no pre-set agendas, no presentations, and no hierarchical structure – it’s truly a gathering that facilitates the development of professionals, by, with, and through those professionals.”

An Unconference prioritizes conversation and collaboration over presentation. It’s truly a gathering that facilitates the development of professionals by, with, and through those professionals.

The participants suggest topics to discuss, questions they’d like to answer, and/or problems-of-practice they have yet to solve. This ensures that the conversations are applicable, relevant, and timely. And because the professionals determine the topic options and, subsequently, which discussion to join, each individual has autonomy over the content and conversation in which s/he participates. There will be no need to stealthily (or not-so-stealthily) scroll through phones any more, not with real conversations to have!

The discussions themselves, comprised of employees who have chosen to engage in each topic to process information, dig into a tool or idea, brainstorm strategies, or coach each other in their thinking and approaches, typically last between 25-30 minutes. There’s no right or wrong way to participate in the discussions, as long as everyone participates. And, lest the leaders worry that the team members will take advantage of this time and it’ll end up being a free-for-all, there’s a structured debrief at the end: each team reports the topic, hits the big ideas touched upon, and shares a takeaway or two that the group identifies, followed by a robust individual reflection session in which all participants process the event and commit to their follow-up actions.

Again, this is all in the protocol, found here.

What topics will folks discuss?

Without putting too fine a tip on this: Anything. If it’s work-related, will improve employee effectiveness, might solve a problem, or needs to be put on the table, then it could be the topic of one of the discussions in an Unconference. Here are a couple examples of guiding questions from recent Unconferences I’ve co-hosted for organizations:

• What are some apps that will help me manage my time better?
• How do I link contacts with other departments using our new software?
• What do I say when someone is being negative about a co-worker?
• What are some of your go-to strategies for closing deals with prospective clients?
• How do I decide which task on my to-do list to tackle first?

The sky is truly the limit when it comes to suggesting and entertaining topics of discussion. The team will determine which topics are worthy of their time and energy – if no one joins a discussion, it becomes defunct and the facilitator moves to a different discussion. Ultimately, one overarching question will determine the topics in any given Unconference: What are folks wrestling with right now?

When do we host an Unconference?

Well, when do you gather as a team? What opportunities do you have to convene in a common location? Staff meetings, team huddles, leadership gatherings, designated team-building retreats, you name it. If you can bring the team together, you can host an Unconference.

What are the benefits of an Unconference?

Besides reducing the amount of time employees spend stealthily scrolling during expensive presentations, the primary benefits are the cultivation of a culture of continuous growth, the ownership of pressing concerns and needs, the development of a collaborative team atmosphere, and the expansion of autonomy, mastery, and purpose, the three lynchpins of motivation shared in Dan Pink’s “Drive.” In addition, backchannel communication, what we used to refer to as “water cooler chatter,” will more likely be focused on goals, solutions, strategies, and collaborative opportunities to grow.

Whether you’re a team member or a team leader, that’s a refreshing detour around top-down, mandatory professional development sessions. Try the Unconference for yourself and see how it goes.

Pete Hall is the President/CEO of Strive Success Solutions. You can reach him via email at Pete@StriveSS.com.

As the Forrest Gump-inspired bumper-sticker reminds us, “Shit happens.”

That’s just one of the many ways we can reframe a situation by turning an apparent negative into a powerful positive. Reframing, quite simply, is the process of shifting our perspective and finding the silver lining in every cloud. Since we tell ourselves a story about everything that’s happening all around us, we may as well tell ourselves a positive story, right?

Does reframing really matter? In a word, yes. Very much. Here are three benefits to engaging in reframing on a regular basis:

1. Resilience building: Reframing helps us develop resilience by training our minds to see difficulties as opportunities for growth. Instead of succumbing to adversity, we learn to adapt and thrive.
2. Stress reduction: Reframing can reduce stress levels by changing how we perceive stressful situations. When we see them as challenges to overcome rather than insurmountable problems, stress becomes more manageable.
3. Improved problem-solving: When faced with a problem, effective reframing allows us to view it from multiple angles, leading to better, more innovative solutions.

You may have heard advice like this before: “Instead of saying, I have to…, reframe it as, I get to…” If only it were that easy. I find it hard to believe anyone might say, “I get to have a root canal today!” There’s more to it than just painting it with rainbow paint and adorning it with unicorn glitter. So let’s examine a couple of keys that may help prepare us to engage in authentic, helpful reframing:

1. Mindfulness: Stay present and aware of your thoughts and emotions. Mindfulness helps you catch negative thinking patterns and replace them with positive ones.
2. Positive language: Use positive language to describe situations and challenges. Instead of saying, “I can’t do this,” tell yourself, “I will give it my best shot.”
3. Perspective shifting: Try to view the situation from another perspective. This can provide valuable insights and lead to a more positive outlook.

Before you start accusing reframers of practicing toxic positivity, let’s address the elephant in the room. Does reframing negatives into positives mean we are dismissing our authentic emotions?

Heavens, no.

What we’re really talking about here is shifting your perspective to see a situation from a different angle. We still acknowledge and validate our feelings. If “This sucks” pops into your mind, take the time you need to honor the suckiness of it, connect with your emotions, and, when you’re ready, look for an alternative viewpoint. This helps you manage and cope with your emotions by finding constructive ways to deal with them.

For example, if you’re feeling disappointed about not getting a job or promotion you wanted, reframing it as an opportunity for personal growth doesn’t mean you deny your initial disappointment. Instead, it allows you to channel that feeling into motivation for self-improvement, future endeavors, and another pathway to success.

Reframing allows you to channel your emotions into motivation for self-improvement. By taking another perspective, we can make better decisions.

Often, the source of our frustration, anger, or irritation is an event, a circumstance, or something out of our control. If that’s the case, when we listen for the story we’re telling ourselves, consider the Lurking Benefit. Ask yourself, “What’s the positive silver lining in this negative cloud?” Here are a few examples of how this might play out in your mind:

1. When you fail a test, reframe like this: “This is a chance to learn from my mistakes and improve for next time.”
2. When you experience a relationship breakup, reframe like this: “I can take this time to focus on my personal growth and self-discovery.”
3. When you have financial struggles, reframe like this: “This is an opportunity to investigate budgeting, financial management, and an appreciation of the simple things.”
4. When you are stuck in traffic, reframe like this: “I can pause my hurried life and practice patience and tolerance.”
5. When your computer crashes midway through a project, reframe like this: “Re-doing some of the work can help me with clarifying my thinking, and now I’m inspired to learn more about the Cloud.”

At times, it’s other people that grind our gears. Human behaviors can be really exasperating, and when they invade our minds, it can be hard to shift the story to be more positive. In these cases, it can be helpful to consider the *Noble Intent. Ask yourself, “Why would a reasonable, rational, kind person act like this?” This allows you to approach the situation with empathy and a more positive perspective, which can lead to better understanding and communication with the offending person. Check out these examples:

1. When another person seems over-critical, reframe like this: “Perhaps this is some thorough feedback I hadn’t considered.”
2. When another person acts bossy, reframe like this: “It appears this person has a need for control. Perhaps I can offer some choices to help out.”
3. When another person makes passive-aggressive comments, reframe like this: “It’s hard to express yourself sometimes. I might need to ask for clarity on what this person feels and needs.”
4. When another person interrupts often, reframe like this: “These stories are important to this person. Maybe it would help if I asked more questions.”
5. When another person yells at you for something, reframe like this: “Wow, this person is having a bad day. I’ve got to stay calm and help diffuse all this energy.”

Remember, reframing is a powerful tool that can help us navigate life’s challenges with a positive mindset. When shit happens, reframe it as an opportunity to honor our emotions, cleanse our thoughts, and find the silver lining. It might just become a bumper-sticker.

*Credit to Dr. James Alexander and the Functional Family Therapy model for the term “Noble Intent.”

Pete Hall is the President/CEO of Strive Success Solutions. You can reach him via email at Pete@StriveSS.com.

I was speaking at a leadership conference recently, and after my session I had the opportunity to sit down with a handful of executives and team leaders to chat. The topic? Coachability.

After the first animated 15 minutes or so, two realities struck us:

First, we needed to clearly define the term itself.

Second, we determined that for years, we’ve been asking the wrong question about coachability.

What is coachability? Here’s the definition we constructed right there in the conference center’s foyer: “Coachability is the willingness – even eagerness – to invite and accept support, feedback, guidance, prompts, and imperatives in order to grow, learn new things, increase your impact, and/or in some way improve in whatever you’re doing.”

This helped us to understand the desirable approach to growth that we – as leaders and learners – and our team members need to possess and display in order to work effectively with (or as) coaches.

*Side note: In a different blog, we’ll dig deeper into the ins and outs of our definition of coachability and its many nuanced applications.

Meanwhile…What’s the question we’d been getting wrong all these years? This one: “Are you coachable?”

It seems like a reasonable enough question, so why is it the wrong one? Because the answer is binary. It’s either “yes” or “no.”

As it turns out, there are many gradients of coachability. It’s not as clear-cut as it may sound. Describing an employee as coachable or uncoachable misses the mark, because one’s willingness – even eagerness – to partner with a coach can depend on a host of variables.

There are many gradients of coachability. One’s willingness – even eagerness – to partner with a coach can depend on a host of variables.

Not surprisingly, the variables can be addressed rather directly, by asking the 5 W’s and an H questions.

So, “How coachable are you?” is a better question, and to help determine likelihood of success in a coaching interaction for any given individual, we follow up by asking, “Would it matter…”

*…WHO is coaching you? Does it matter if your coach comes from within or outside your organization? Is an unknown, expert voice better for you than someone you may have worked with before? Do you do better with a coach with whom you’ve got a strong relationship established?

*…WHAT you’re being coached on? What’s the content of the coaching? Is it something you’re already expected to know and do, or is it a new skill? Are you being coached on a mindset, an attitude, a behavior, or a particular strategy? And do you have some say in the content, or is it determined by someone else (perhaps a supervisor)?

*…WHERE the coaching takes place? Do the coaching interactions occur in your workspace or setting, or are you called to someone’s office for them? Are the coaching sessions conducted in private, 1-on-1, or do some of them transpire in a team setting, in front of (or even including) others?

*…WHEN you’re being coached? Are you coached in advance of a specific event, after its conclusion, or some combination thereof? Are the coaching session scheduled in advance, or are they impromptu? This also includes frequency: are coaching interactions occurring daily, weekly, or quarterly? Do you only receive coaching support during (or following) your annual performance review?

*…WHY you’re being coached? What’s the purpose of the coaching? Your own growth? Fidelity to a company program? The acquisition of technical skills? Remediation of your weaknesses? Leadership development? The main purpose, and ultimate goal, really ought to be clear (and clearly communicated) in order to maximize our impact.

*…HOW the coaching transpires? What do the coaching sessions look like, feel like, and include? Are they one-directional, laden with targeted feedback, or are they conversational, a back-and-forth dialogue, full of reflective discussions? Do they include modeling, use of video, action research, or other strategies? Some may work better for you that others, and some may accomplish the ultimate goal better than others.

There are no right answers to these questions, only our individual and collective truth. As we ask, investigate, and explore our responses, we’re looking for are answers that lead to results. The outcomes are what matter.

What is included in the set of conditions that take you (and/or your team members) to greater heights? How can we put ourselves in positions to learn more, accomplish more, do better, and have a more profound impact?

Start by asking the right questions.

Pete Hall is the President/CEO of Strive Success Solutions. You can reach him via email at Pete@StriveSS.com.

Feeling burned out?
Experiencing more than your fair share of stress on the job?
Dealing with exhaustion, anxiety, and even resentment toward your work?

I’ll bet you said “yes” to at least one of those questions. Not that it’ll make you feel any better, but you’re not alone. In a 2023 survey conducted by Deloitte, 77% of employees have experienced burnout at their current job, with 91% saying that unmanageable stress affects their job performance and 84% stating that burnout from work negatively impacts their personal relationships.

Ugh.

All this despite 87% of professionals saying they have a passion for their job, indicating that it’s not enough to love your work if you’re working in a constant state of stress or frustration.

And there are lessons here for company leadership as well as individuals. It’s a shared responsibility.

What if we asked a different batch of questions, like these:

What do you want out of life?
What are you curious about?
What problem would you like to solve?
What legacy would you like to leave?
And what are you prepared to offer the world?

If those questions seemed a bit foreign or daunting to you, worry not. Most of us don’t prioritize contemplating this sort of big, life-altering, earth-shaking prompts. Instead, we tend to go about our business, doing the best we can with what we’ve got, filling in the blanks of our lives with whatever’s handy. Dealing with the inboxes and emails and task lists and the people who are currently in front of us.

And getting stressed out about it.

We must do better. And with clarity of our mision, we can.

What’s a “mision,” you ask? Well, it’s the sum of a workplace (or life) addition equation:

Mission + Vision = “Mision”

Let’s start with Mission. Our mission answers the question, “Why?” As Simon Sinek famously shared, “Why?” is the foundational question that drives our business and life operations. With our purpose clearly articulated in our minds and hearts, the what and how fall into place. Our mission, then, is what grounds us in meaning – it’s the very reason we do what we do. A software sales company’s mission is to help businesses streamline their processes so they can be more efficient and profitable. Connecting those businesses with intuitive programs and data solutions in a cost-effective and user-friendly model, and offering best-in-class customer support, is the what and how of their operations. The mission propels everything else.

Next let’s examine Vision. In a previous post, I suggested one of a leader’s two most essential skills is to cultivate commitment to a clear, compelling vision of the ideal future. When things are going exceptionally well, what’s happening? What does it feel like? What are we accomplishing? In the case of the software sales company, that ideal future might look like robust sales, a burgeoning market share, incredibly high customer reviews, retention rates through the roof, and cutting-edge R&D opening doors for future growth.

Now let’s merge the two. The result is mision. The mision also lives in our heads and hearts first, as an emotionally-charged image of a meaningful, purposeful vision. In short, our mision is the answer to the question, “When we’re fully connected to our sense of purpose (mission) and we’re wildly successful hitting our goals (vision) simultaneously, what does that look like? How will we know?”

The tricky part of this endeavor is the knowledge that we can be mission-driven without being successful. We can also meet our benchmarks and metrics without engaging in work that addresses our why.

With clarity of our mision, we can connect those dots and experience spectacular success from the enlightened perspective of our mission as well as the operational viewpoint of our vision. As I wrote in Always Strive to Be a Better You: How ordinary people can live extraordinary lives, “We must connect with our mision in order to obtain clarity of our sense of purpose, to picture the ideal future outcomes, and to establish meaningful goals to pursue.”

The mision is our blueprint of ultimate success, no matter how you define it for yourself as an individual, for your company, your relationships, your organizations, or any other element of your life.

If we want to stave off burnout, whether you’re in leadership with concern for your team or you’re wrangling with perpetual stress in your life, perhaps it’s time to clarify and connect with your mision.

Pete Hall is the President/CEO of Strive Success Solutions. You can reach him via email at Pete@StriveSS.com.

Here’s a question I’m often asked by senior leadership: “How do I get my team to operate more efficiently and effectively?”

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone.

At the risk of making it sound simple, my answer is this: “First, make sure the team is doing the right things; and second, help each individual contribute to making the team stronger.”

We know that we’ll be more successful if we work as a team. This isn’t earth-shattering news, so I won’t belabor the point. Unfortunately, all the pithy quotes and clever adages like I shared in the video above won’t help us become a high-functioning team, though. For that, we need clarity of the attributes of successful teams – and there are literally hundreds of similar lists out there guiding us. The one I’ve found quite useful in supporting effective teams has three characteristics:

Attribute #1: Successful teams work toward a common goal.

Attribute #2: Successful teams practice mutual and reciprocal accountability.

Attribute #3: Successful teams engage in open, frequent, critical communication.

Next, we need to add a heavy dose of the special sauce: Each member of the team must engage with, commit to, and revel in behaviors that strengthen and fortify the team itself. How do we do this? For each of the three attributes, I’ll suggest a couple individual behaviors you can employ to ensure your team is high-functioning and effective in reaching its targets.

Attribute #1: Successful teams work toward a common goal.

What can I do to help?

1. You can start by embracing the goal, publicly and emphatically. (If we back up half a step, it would be swell if everyone within the team played a role in identifying and establishing the goal beforehand; if not, you can still commit to it – with your mind, body, and spirit in tow.) Sometimes we’re assigned a project and we’re not 100% on board with the identified outcome. If that’s the case, politely recuse yourself (if you can) or get on board. Once you’re in, you’re in, and the goal of the team has become your goal. So say it out loud: “Okay, this is our team’s goal. Let’s do it!”

2. Remind yourself (and your teammates) of the goal frequently. All too often, teams set a goal and then simply get to work. Then the work takes priority, not the intended outcome. You can help by reiterating the goal during team planning sessions, conference calls, even water-cooler chats. If it helps, suggest it idly, as if you’re reminding yourself, with language like, “Oh yeah, we’re aiming to hit these growth targets this quarter. So it makes sense that we try this strategy…”

Each member of the team must engage with, commit to, and revel in behaviors that strengthen and fortify the team itself.

Attribute #2: Successful teams practice mutual and reciprocal accountability.

What can I do to help?

3. Speak the language of “we.” It might seem uncomfortable at first, if it’s not typically the way you talk; that’s okay, keep at it. Use phrasing like “We need to buckle down and get this summary written,” “We had a couple ideas shared at our last meeting, can we revisit them?” and “We’re making progress on our goal, team!” The more we speak with the plural “we,” the more we’re including the whole team in our discussion, questions, plans, and ideas.

4. Ask a teammate to serve as your accountability partner. It’s all fine and dandy to say that everyone holds everyone else accountable for their work products, their attitude, their adherence to team norms, and the reality is this: unless each individual is willing and open to it, that simply becomes a great idea that turns to sand. So when you approach a teammate and say, “Hey, I need to get this draft finished by 2:00, and I’d love it if you would check on me a couple times this morning to make sure I’m staying focused,” it’s amazing how that opens the door to truly reciprocal accountability.

5. Celebrate your teammates’ accomplishments publicly. There’s nothing better than a third-party compliment (e.g., “Did you see how Janelle handled that tricky sale? I’m impressed with her integrity!”) or a rooftop compliment (e.g., “Before we get started, team, I’d just like to take a second to recognize Devon on his relentlessness on the Barker contract. My friend, you never gave up and it paid off!”) to make it a norm that we are on the lookout for opportunities to sing each other’s praises.

6. Address incongruencies individually. On the other hand, when things go sideways, it’s best to approach your colleagues 1-on-1, saying something like, “Whoa, Michelle, that didn’t quite work out, did it? Want to process it and brainstorm together?” Taking the opportunity to confront issues away from the spotlight, to calibrate understanding together, and to offer support can go a long way toward building trust and helping the team jell.

Attribute #3: Successful teams engage in open, frequent, critical communication.

What can I do to help?

7. Ask for help. Or advice. Or guidance. Or a suggestion. Or for feedback. Just ask! When you put yourself out there, it demonstrates vulnerability, confidence, and openness. These are the foundations of trusting, supportive relationships. Rather than wait for those relationships to magically appear, or hope that someone else begins the process, you can decide to get it started. Prepare your questions and ask!

8. Share information that may be valuable to the team. In many organizations, knowledge is power, and the person who collects information often believes hoarding it equals a prominent spot at the table, an ace card up the sleeve…you get the gist. That’s only true if the person isn’t really on a team, and each person is fighting for their own reputation, promotion, or favorable standing. On a team, the best thing we can do is share. Something like “Hey Juan, I just got off the phone with the manager of the marketing department, and here’s what they’re thinking for Q3” might steer Juan’s next efforts for the team in better alignment.

9. Check in on your teammates often. Ask them, “How are you doing?” And when they respond with the glib “Fine, thanks,” follow up with either, “No, for real,” or “I’m glad to hear it, because I’m feeling a little overwhelmed with the deadline and I was wondering if you’re feeling the same pressure.” When we’re honest with our feelings, that can open a connection to strengthening the relationship. That, in turn, can allow us to talk more honestly and productively about our work, our common goal, and the dynamics within the team that are either helping or hindering our progress.

As you’ve read this, you’re probably struck by a red thread weaving its way through all the suggested behaviors. If you have, it’s surely not a surprise: Teams win or lose based on the strength of their internal relationships. It doesn’t matter if you’re the boss, a team leader, or a member of the team without a particular defined title or role. When you’re on a team, the team matters more than any of its individuals. With strong relationships, our teams can survive just about anything.

And when each of us intentionally takes steps to align our behaviors and attitudes with the best interests of the team, our teams – and our products – thrive.

Pete Hall is the President/CEO of Strive Success Solutions. You can reach him via email at Pete@StriveSS.com.